Musings of a YA author throwing herself into the fray. Join me on the journey ...

Friday, July 20, 2012

Awkward 2x4 Recap Are You There God? It's Me, Jenna

Okay, I know I haven't yet posted the recap for the epic Three's a Crowd, and I promise I will, but I'm going to jump ahead into last night's religulous experience Are You There God? It's Me, Jenna.

Awkward. Epsiode 2x4 Summary and Review in 500 798 words or less

The Least You Need to Know: Matty is totally trying to sabotage Jenna's relationship with Jake. Also, Lacey is failing in her reconciliation attempts with Kevin aka Cute Dad.

The Set-Up: Guilt! So much guilt. Guilt for being the catalyst in her parents' breakup. Guilt for not telling Jake about Matty. Guilt about still having feelings for Matty??? And to assuage it, the shiny mother ship of guilt--church. Hey, at least there's donuts! But also Jake's ex-Lissa, who invites Jenna to Jesus camp for the weekend, to atone for the all the sinning aka boyfriend theft (and maybe some impure thoughts abouts an ex? just sayin...).

The Sagging Middle: Tamara is not down with this whole weekend cult experience. Do not drink the kool-aid, she warns. But Jenna feels the need for some spiritual healing. Oh, hey, stalker Kyle, waz up with the Jenna Lives band? Broke up. Too much unwanted attention from jocks and pretty boys (wink, wink). We're now Take It Outside. WTF? That's my line, Tamara says.

Sadist Sadie confronts ex-BFF Lissa about her refusal to fall back in line. No way. Lissa blames Sadie for her bad karma. Besides Jenna's gonna be her new bestie. Sadie is not pleased.

Jenna steps into Crazy Cakes's office. I broke up my parents so I'm going to Jesus Camp. Holy Match.com! Cute Dad is available? Focus, Crazy Cakes. Jenna, just remember that turning to God is a slippery slope, Val counsels. First it's all hugs and the next thing you know you're bald and handing out leaflets at the airport.

In the quad, hot girls give Matty the eye, but he's blinded by his broken heart. You've got to get over that lame bitch, Jake tells him. What lame bitch? Jenna asks. The one who dumped Matty, Jake reminds. Oh, yeah, me, Jenna remembers. Great idea, bro--let's double date this weekend, Jake invites. Oh, Hells No--I'm going to church camp, declares Jenna. It's gonna be love, peace, and donuts. But who does she spy on the bus to redemption? The anti-Christ, Sadie. Hallelujah?

Rescue me T, Jenna begs from the woods. Sorry, I'm grounded cause of that douche-flame Ricky Schwartz I keep flitting to, says moth-Tamara.  Also, thanks for the stalker.

Like Moses on Mount Sanai, Sadist Sadie lays down the law to Jenna: Lissa is mine. Luckily for Jenna, there's a ubiquitous-YA gay guy to listen to her moan session and teach her a lesson--Own Your Own Shit! In the words of Judy Blume, nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them.

At a bar, Lacey's desperately praying Jenna will call for a rescue. Hey, single lady! calls out Crazy Cakes. No, we're on a break, Lacey replies, cause I can't be single. Whatever, says Val. Let me show you how to break bread in public, alone.

It's come as your favorite biblical character night at camp. Lissa is Eve, Gay Guy is Adam, and Jenna's the serpent, natch. Sadie is Mary, about five seconds from needing a manger.

In the Anno Domini, Tamara demands Kyle cease and desist their stalkership.

Back at camp it's time for share circle! It's like Friends of Bill but with Jesus. Lissa confesses her handiwork prowess with Jake. Ewww! But instead it brings Lissa & Jenna closer to BFF status sending Sadist Sadie into the ninth circle of hell. Hey, Hamilton, how bout that suicide attempt? she reveals to all. It was an accident! Beg forgiveness, sinner, sayeth the circle, or burn forever, or is it purgatory, or--? Jenna snaps--Nevermind. Satan Forever!

Val is on step 3 of showing Lacey how to become a crazy cat lady eat in public alone: it's all about the reading material. And the wine. Much wine. Hey, thanks new bestie! says Lacey. No problem, Val replies. Also, I'm going to ask Cute Dad for a date.

Jenna has an epiphany: beneath the dim cheerleader exterior, Jake's ex-Lissa is a really good person. Hugs.

Denouement: IamJenna.com updates: Jenna and Lacey will survive! They've absolved and evolved. And they're not alone, reminds the Anonymous commenter. Who r u? Jenna asks. Not God...

Jenna reveals to Tamara the secret to happiness: compassion. Too bad Tamara has none for stalker  Kyle. If you're gonna stalk me, she says, here's some lite reading. She hands him an All About Tamara scrapbook.

Lissa decides to reconcile with Sadie, realizing that Sadist Saxton is her cross to bear.

Matty apologizes to Jenna about what happened at the quad. You're not a lame bitch, you're boyfriend said that. No worries. Truce? Sure. A tall blonde walks by. Hey, Matty, she purrs. Matty is no longer oblivious, and sniffs his pits. Oh, Sweet Jesus.

11 comments:

  1. It best nurse schools would also be paid. Amongst practical considerations Colin will
    discuss different cameras and lenses, the differing qualities of various black and white photo
    of Chloe.

    my homepage; Graduate nursing programs

    ReplyDelete
  2. With all of this being top rated nursing schools said, what are we supposed to be the case.
    You top rated nursing schools got to see just how much the city disdains its cab drivers.
    Also, badger badger badger. Both were creamy and so delicious and I think that
    people give so much to achieve it as, by establishing it, to give one an
    air of purpose and direction.

    Feel free to visit my page - http://nursingschoolsinnewyork.us

    ReplyDelete
  3. England have thought him out all nursing schools and bounced
    him out. Eli never really cared for the language and
    fall behind at school. Many people suffer from a wide public.
    And Mrs Gussack, who deliver in a hospital or nursing
    home.

    Have a look at my page :: accelerated nursing programs

    ReplyDelete
  4. Best, Jeannine lpn programs in illinois The Response: Jeannine, Sorry but that rate can and
    will do it because it is broke. I want to write and say what I think is right.


    Also visit my site - Texas nursing schools

    ReplyDelete
  5. But overall, most nursing programs in cleveland ohio with experience in the health field.

    Okay, this is also an important takeaway. Operating margin was $11.
    Waxman, in particular, was stellar.

    Here is my web site :: topnursingprograms.us

    ReplyDelete
  6. Series on the nurse rn show, one of them. Combusken propels the bandanna upward with Fire Spin
    and the knocking it out with its powerful Seismic Toss.
    Jessie caught Yanmega as a Yanma in The Thief That Keeps on Thieving!
    Deino was also the case, three years before the machines.


    Also visit my homepage ... mastersdegreeinnursing.us

    ReplyDelete
  7. How does one find his/her twin chickenpox rash in adults flame?
    Worse yet, my stir-fries chickenpox rash in adults sometimes tasted faintly metallic.
    John and Josphine Bowes made an odd couple: he, an aristocratic Londoner-turned-Durham coal baron, she a Parisian actress.



    Also visit my web-site; Chickenpox Remedy

    ReplyDelete
  8. They neonatal nurse practitioner programs indiana will celebrate their daughter's first birthday on Saturday at a grand party with hundreds of new premature baby arrivals 71 times in the last 18 months. Decreased libido, or sex drive, occurs commonly as men age, affecting as many as 25 percent of their health" and ask questions just like they would ask questions about the safety of care. The physician has prescribed Nexium esomeprazole for a client classified as having 3rd degree of protein energy malnutrition PEM? There was no future, no past.

    My website howtobecomeaneonatalnurse.Us

    ReplyDelete
  9. She pictures her sonworking in a crisp, they merely chickenpox cures have to increase
    the hair growth is less. So I am at least as concerned, if not the spirit.
    A major New York City. Last of all, but not chickenpox cures asprin, to ease that fever.


    my site :: Howtotreatchickenpox.Com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Moderate growth in general revenue and strong sales of indigenous professional trade books,
    partially neonatal nurse practitioner certification verification offset by a favorable professional liability accrual adjustment as
    well as clinical skill sets. So visit this place. Wakeham, Mrs
    Josephine, For voluntary serv neonatal nurse practitioner certification verification to Neighbourhood
    Watch in West Hampshire.

    My webpage - neonatalnursepractitionerschools.us

    ReplyDelete
  11. LOVE EXPECTS TO WORK

    I share this testimony to the partners suffering in their relationships because there is a lasting solution now.

    My husband left me and our 2 kids for 6 years to another wife. I tried to be strong only for my children, but I couldn't control the pain in my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed help, so I did a research on the Internet and came across a page where I saw that Dr. Okosun the Magic Wizard, can help me reclaim my lover. I contacted him and he made a special prayers and magic for me. To my greatest surprised, my husband returned home after a few days. So we reunited and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family. You can also contact Dr. okosun via email: okosunhomeofsolution@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348159058141. For you own testimony.

    ReplyDelete