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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Awkward 2x6 Episode Recap

Awkward. 2x6 Summary and Review in 1000 words or less

Again, sorry for the delay...

The Least You Need to Know: Valentine's Day sucks! Except for Ming. And definitely no more double-dates with your first love and his new piece. Also, Jake loves Jenna, which is totally awesome, right? Then  how come she can't say it back??

The Set-up: Jenna's tossing and turning. Why didn't Jake's love declaration illicit the same response in her? Maybe she's just not in touch with her feelings yet. But no time to think cause... Aunt Ally's back, beyotches! Sportin a diamond on her ring finger. From Dan, who after just two weeks, a trip to Paris and 4.6 carats later, she lurves. How can Ally know so soon and I can't, Jenna wonders?

Tamara and Ming are pretty sure her "awesome" response sent Jake scrambling for a Prozac scrip. Also, Tamara declares her post-bladder-failure nickname as Tinklebell to all the haters.  Are you in love with Jake? Check yes or no, they demand. Maybe, maybe not, answers Jenna. That's a no, they decide.

In the sanctuary, Sadist Sadie demands some heavy petting from Douche Ricky. I want more, he tells her. Not a chance, band geek. I don't take my shame grope out in public. 

You're leading Jake on, T & M tell Jenna. But I love being his GF, isn't that the same thing? You either know or you don't, there's no middle ground with love. And Ming knows first hand, cause of Fred Woo. 

Taking a break from the announcements with guest host, Matty.
Jake: Hey, bro, I told Jenna the L-word. 
Matty: Whoa! Y'all had sex? 
Jake: No.  
Matty: Amateur. You dangle that carrot till she puts out. Gotta play it chill now, dude. She'll come around. 
Jake: Easy for you, stud. You've never been in love.
Matty: (sad face)

In class, Jenna presents Exhibit A to Tamara: her notebook with a lovey-dovey pic of J&J on the cover. All good, except for the "I heart M.M." written on the back, T argues. Maybe residual Matty feelings are clouding her Jake feelings. Sex is the answer, Tamara declares. 

Jenna passes Matty on the way to Jake. It's full of weird. Anywho...hey, Jake, apropo of nothing, we should have sex--Oops! Is that mic hot? Um, yes. 

Here's your scarlett "A", Hester Prynne, the school declares. But Matty rescues her from the tar & feathers. Should I give Jake the map to J-Town? Oh Hells No. (And they're so adorkably cute together I can barely stand it!) Okey dokey, but go easy, ex-luvah, cause he's really in to you, i.e. don't break his poor besotted heart like mine. Hey, guess what? Matty's moved out of the weird zone and into the friend zone, Jenna decides. (Note: Ex's never stay in the friend zone, Jenna. They either come back off the bench or retire. This is basic relationship 101 stuff.)

Crazy Cakes calls Jenna to her office. About the sex, some advice: Be a lady in the streets, and a freak in the sheets. Also, me and your mom are doing yoga this afternoon. 

Sex is not the answer to her love dilemma, Jenna decides. Too bad Jake is totally jonesin for some Jenna luvin. Let's sync our calendars for sexy times. Guess what? I'm free now, says Jake. Yay? thinks Jenna. How bout my car? Too small. Your mom's at yoga right? Oh, yeah...okay, if you insist, let's go to my house and have the sex. Mercy bang, anyone?

Parked car. Rockin. Douche-Ricky and Sadist Sadie in the backseat. Last time, she declares. No, he begs. Man up, dude. 

Approaching the Hamilton homestead, Sweetheart Jake's bouncing around like a rat terrier with a new toy. But Lacey, Crazy Cakes, and Aunt Ally are at home for the ultimate cockblock. Uh, rain check, please. Jake exits stage left. 

Ding dong. What's Sadist Sadie doing here? Turns out she and Jenna are gonna be kissing cousins when Aunt Ally marries Sadie's rich Uncle Dan. How did you know Dan's the man if you've not tested the plumbing beforehand? everyone inquires of Ally. If the feelings aren't already there, it's just plain ole S-E-X. And speaking of sex, Lacey needs to get laid. But what about Cute Dad? Is it over? 

Sadie ponders Aunt Ally's LoveLine wisdom and calls Douche Ricky--this may just be a match made in the ninth ring of hell. 

Updating If doing the deed doesn't decide my feelings, maybe it's not worth doing it? Except Lacey reveals that sometimes the sex and the feelings all come at the same time, like with Cute Dad. So Jenna rings Jake: I've got the comdoms, big boy. Let's do this.

Jake scores his mom's mini-van. Jenna, playing the part of Felicity Porter (Season 1 episode ?), rushes to undress, but wait...Jake, ever the sweetheart, has constructed a love nest in the back complete with sprinkled rose petals. Gawd. Hey, you’re not just doing this to make me feel better? asks Noel Jake. Cause I just can’t hold in my love and if we don’t make it after this, I’ll pine for you forever, Felicity Jenna. (I’m pretty sure Jake is Noel at this point, or a girl. But definitely not a 16 year old guy, except a 16 y.o. guy as written by a 30-something y.o woman.) Well, guess what? I’m in love after all, Jenna finally decides, before she chokes on all the sap. But let’s wait on the sexy times, k? It’ll be worth it--just ask Matty...

Best Matty/Jenna moments: The hallway...just...loved it.

Best Lines I plan to work into my conversations: You're so J.V.
If you drink enough wine it tastes like love.

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