Musings of a YA author throwing herself into the fray. Join me on the journey ...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Awkward Epi 2x7:

Another One Bites The Dust Summary and Review in 1000 words or less

The Least You Need To Know: Jenna's feelings for Jake are befuddled, and sex may just be the answer. But not right now. Cause Aunt Ally's getting married! To Sadie's uncle? What!

The Set-Up: Ah, her wedding day...the day all little girls dream about since their first Disney movie.  Jenna's wondering about hers while at the bridal shop waiting for Aunt Ally to emerge in what she, Sadie, Lacey and some prego chick bridesmaid are betting will be some Miley Cyrus-inspired gown. Except it's totally classy, and hey, so are the bridesmaid dresses. Maybe this won't be so bad... Hold the phone--what is that fuscia floral monstrosity?? That's for you, flower bitch, Ally tells Jenna.

Tamara tells her not to worry, just have the requisite pervy old uncle at the wedding get you drinks and you'll forget all about this hideous dress. Guess what? Lacey's spending the night at the hotel, so tonight it's bom chicka wah wah time with Sweetheart Jake, Jenna spills. Meantime, Ally's inner bridezilla is emerging and while taming it, Lacey divulges that the reason for the hotel room is to tempt Cute Dad into some hotel sex reconciliation. Sorry, Lacey, your hubby RSVP'd in the negatory. But guess who didn't?!? Ben!! Squee!!! (And my Felicity analogy stands)

The Sagging Middle: Ben? Who's Ben? Jenna wonders. But there's no time because her flower basket is missing. Crisis ensues! The wedding planner's assistant quits under the pressure. Here, take Tamara, she works cheap, Jenna offers. But Ally's already tipped over the edge, and Jenna quits her role of flower bitch.

She calls Jake, who's borrowing a suit from Matty. Hey, forget the wedding, we're in the clear for sexy times at 5 o'clock. Make that 4:59, Jake replies all grins. Probably good thing, Matty tells him, cause this suit is cursed. By the by, who was the chick who dumped you at formal? Jake wonders. Luckily for Matty the phone rings: Courtney, his new piece. So, what's the dealio with y'all? asks Jake. She could be GF material, says Matty. Whew! You're finally over that girl from camp, congratulates his BFF. Yeah, finally...

At the Hamilton's, Sadist Sadie arrives, rubbing her kissy-kissy with Douche Ricky in Heartbroken Tamara's face. Whatever. Who's Ben? Jenna needs to know. Lacey's first love, Ally replies. Yikes! Jenna and T, do some Sherlock Holmsing into Lacey's high school past: yearbooks, pics. Ding dong. Here's Ben...and he's totally cute and all over Lacey. DefCon 2! Jenna declares. Flower bitch is back!

Ben is tall, dark and all over Lacey. Hey, mom, remember Cute Dad? Dad, who? All Lacey can remember is her memories of Ben, the man who swiped her v-card and...OMG! Ben=Matty. Jenna dials 911 to her dad. But then they need a real ambulance when the prego girl's water breaks. Crap, I need another bridesmaid, wails Ally. Who's available last minute on a Saturday afternoon? Hey, Crazy Cakes. Jenna begs Val for a favor: distract this Ben from my mom and I'll buy you a new cat. I'm in, agrees Crazy Cakes.

Next: Ally vs. Sadie. Ally wants bridesmaids' hair in double buns. Sadie says no. Bridezilla wins. Double buns. Jenna takes a moment to remind Lacey of her let-no-man-put-asunder vows with her dad. But Ben's so hawt, drools Lacey. Tamara, mic'd up like J.Lo. in that wedding planner movie with McConaughey, tells Jenna she's got a visitor.

Hi, Matty. Adorkably cute convo ensues. Then Jake appears. Thanks for the suit, bro, and have fun with Courtney (aka Bimbette), wink, wink. Matty to J-Town: You and my BFF look great together. Happy times to you, but my heart, it stings. (Aww!) Obligingly, Jenna asks of Matty's new piece. Oh, she's great; we're great; it's all greatness, he assures. My heart, it stings, too, she tells him. Closure is bittersweet.

So, maybe I'm overreacting over my mom and her Ben? thinks Jenna. Not so much. On the phone Ben's telling someone that Lacey's a total MILF and he's making a move at the wedding.

Ding, dong, ding! The wedding bells have rung for Aunt Ally. And Jenna's got her hands full keeping Lacey off the booze and off of Ben, who's pouring it on extra thick. Also, Ricky and Sadie keep shoving their tongues down each other's throats and Tamara's a woman on the edge. Time for her BFF to step in. Tone it down, she warns Sadie. All's fair in love, Sadie retorts. Maybe for now, but your's won't be the only mouth Ricky sticks his tongue down for long, Jenna tells her.

Meanwhile, Aunt Ally's all shades of Sixteen Candles with some muscle relaxers. Lacey's afraid she's rushed into this marriage, but Ally says he's the first man who really loved her. You don't forget that. Ever. Lacey looks longingly to Ben. Sick'em, Crazy Cakes! Jenna begs. No way, I don't do pretty boys, Crazy Cake avows.

Sadie confronts Ricky about his cheatin' ways. Dollface, my tongue is yours forever, he promises. This, deliberately in front of Tamara. It's Sweetheart Jake who suits up for the rescue. Jenna tells Ben to step off cause her dad is aces. Ben reminds her: don't take the one you love for granted. Word. It's sexy time for Jake!

(That gd demon movie trailer scares the shite outta me!)

Denouement: Jake's giving the gears to Sadist Sadie, for Tamara, which convinces Jenna it's time to give him the L-word. But it may be too late, cause Sadie fights dirty and tells Jake he's getting his BFF Matty's sloppy seconds. No way, he says, but as the pieces start to fall into place in his head (the mysterious girl from camp, the secret convos at their lockers, the winter formal) he's not so sure. Poor Jake...

Best Matty/Jenna moment: It stings!!

Best lines: Big love hair.

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