Pre-recap commentary: I freakin’ love the Vampire Diaries, obviously. But I can tell I’m so over this originals storyline because a) I missed the first 3 minutes of the show, and didn’t mind; b) I got up several times during the show to do something else; and c) I only took 4 ½ pages of notes instead of my usual 8 for this recap. VD writers, please move on!!!
INT. Lockwood cavern. Alaric, with Elena and Damon, is sleuthing the viking script carved into the rock. They’re symbols and names: Rebekah, Elijah, Niklaus.
Cue flashback: Rebekah, circa pre-Columbian America I’m supposed to believe, is carving said names in the rock. Uh, oh. Daddy won’t like it, Klaus warns. Back in the present, Ric also reveals another name to Elena and Damon: Mikael, Papa Original.
Ric takes photos of the carvings and tries to decipher them while Damon is training Elena in stake-play or foreplay, I can’t tell which. Ric is hitting a wall, however, so Elena figures she’ll go to the original source, as it were, Bekah…who’s working on her cartwheels and forward flips at cheer practice. Why the daddy issues? Elena asks her. Silence from Beks. Fine, we’ll ask him when we wake him, E threatens. We’re doomed, doomed! if you do, B says, but I’m still not talking. Flashback: Elijah and Klaus are play swordfighting. Haha. Until Mikael shows up and schools Klaus. Playtime over. Ric works out a Rosetta stone for the carvings, while Elena updates Damon on the phone about Bekah. How’s Stefan, she asks. Damon looks in the cell. Still broody, he says. Then Elena gets a text invite from Bekah for a chat.
In the cell, Damon and Stefan banter over Lexi’s rehab attempts and Elena. Seemingly pissed over Stefan’s apathy over his situation, Screw it, Damon declares and breaks Stef’s chains, freeing him.
At the Salvatore manse, Bekah has compelled girls to model homecoming dresses. Elena rolls her eyes, so Beks tells her to pick a dress. When E doesn’t, B threatens to bite one until she does. It’s a power play: you only learn what I want you to, she tells E.
Bonnie brings Ric the un-destroyable necklace. And by the way, Jeremy’s an idiot, he tells her. Then he shows her a pic of a symbol carved in the rock that matches the one on the necklace. It means “witch”.
In Stefan’s room, Bekah is pawing through his boxer-briefs. E disapproves. The Original Witch led her family to America to escape sickness or something and they lived among werewolves, in peace. They’d hide out in the cave during the wolves’ time of the month. Until, one night Klaus and their little brother got curious and little brother got mauled to death. The shizz hit the fan after that. Bzzz. It’s D checking in on Elena. He’s at a bar with Stefan. Elena’s pissed.
Damon compels the bartender to give Stefan a drink…from her wrist. Next thing you know, the brothers Salvatore are playing quarters and Damon comments on the irony that this is the Stefan he wanted for so long, but now he wants the old Stefan back. Go figure.
Bekah says she doesn’t get why Elena and Stefan are together. Of course not, because you don’t know the real Stefan, assures E. Whatever, he’s a vampire, answers Beks, and you’re just a puny human. By the way, the necklace in question belonged to the Original Witch, who vamped us as way to keep us safe from the werewolves. Daddy stabbed us all, then made us feed. Then she goes on and on and on about consequences and the upset balance of nature and the white oak, blood lust, yada yada yada…
Meanwhile, Damon’s all coyote ugly on the bar and Stefan’s sucking on the bartender in the corner. Why’d you break me out, big bro? You know it’s gonna piss off Elena. When are you gonna man up and stop being Klaus’s bitch, little brother? Maybe I can be of assistance with that, answers an older man. Mikael, they presume. (If he’s here, what happened to Katherine?)
Why does Mikael want to kill Klaus? E wants to know. The first kill activated Klaus’s latent wolf which revealed Mikael’s cuckolded status, which pissed off Papa Original. So, he ripped out Mama Original’s heart. Their grief bonded the Original Siblings, forever, Bekah vows. You know everything now, so leave, Bekah orders Elena, and can someone please tell me when the house stopped being Elena’s because I don’t remember that part. Elena reminds Bekah that she plans to grind Klaus’s bones to make her bread (Quote game: that’s a quote from which TV show? Anyone?), er, to save her love with Stefan. Go after my brother, and I’ll rip you apart, Bekah declares.
Back at the bar, Mikael questions Stefan about Klaus, who can’t say anything about K’s whereabouts because of the compulsion. Mikael gets pissed so he reaches into Damon’s chest and threatens to tear his heart out if Stefan won’t talk. Ouch, too bad for that pesky compulsion. Damon starts to sweat, but Stefan comes through in the pinch (literally) to save his big bro, again. Wait, I can bring Klaus back, S tells Papa Original. Fine. Bring him back and I’ll kill him, Mikael states. But if you don’t, I kill you, Stefan.
Ric shows Elena & Bonnie what’s he figured out: the carvings show Mikael killing Esther by ripping out her heart, except it wasn’t Mikael, it was Klaus. He lied to Bekah about what happened. Elena feels it’s her duty to inform Klaus’s sister about this. Bekah doesn’t want to believe it and vamps out, pinning Elena to the wall (where’s the self-defense skills, E?)
Damon warns Stefan that his humanity is showing. Why is Damon trying so hard, Stefan asks. Because I owe you for saving my life over and over and over, Damon responds. Careful, big bro, your humanity is showing. Then for some reason, frustration maybe, Damon puts the hurt on Stefan.
Bekah cries inconsolably back at the manse. Damon is waiting in Elena’s bed. Hey, we’ve got Mikael, he tells her. And Stefan is on our side. Bekah, too, she tells him. Cause it all comes down to family bonds, which is why Damon will be the one to save Stefan—and y’all I totally love Elena and Damon when they’re best friending.