Smells Like Teen Spirit: Vampire Diaries Recap Epi 6

The Least You Need to Know: Klaus has blown town, fearing that Vampire Hunter Michael is on his way to clean house.The Senior Class of Mystic Falls High can now lay claim to more than just the highest teen body count in Virginia--they've got the first bonafied hybrid soldier in Klaus's dreamt of army, Tyler. Oh, and Stefan's lost his humanity. Let the new school year begin!!

Elena's waking (Aside: this is a common scene beginning, and the sheets are always the same). She's sad. She dabs coverup on the healing fang marks on her neck, courtesy of Rebekah, before joining Alaric outside for a rousing staking practice. E tries her hardest, but she's no Buffy. And Stefan's playing for keeps now, Alaric reminds her.

Parking lot of Mystic Falls High, 1st day of Senior Year. Go Timberwolves!! Caroline's stoked, Bonnie and Elena not so much. Man troubles got'em down: Jeremy's talking to his Dead Girlfriends, Tyler's a vampwolf, and Stefan's gone ripper. Oh, and to really drive home how much her life has gone to hell, today is the anniversary of Stelena's first meeting. Ah, memories. But, it's a new year, new life, E declares.

Salvatore's: Loud music, dead co-eds. This is familiar, Damon thinks. Except this time round, it's Stefan snacking on Tri Delts and he's worried about blood on the carpet. Ding dong. Rebekah bustles in with shopping bags (Hey, how can she just waltz in uninvited? Isn't this still technically Elena's house?). She needs a place to crash since Klaus left her behind.

At school, Bonnie and Hot Jeremy are arguing about his Dead Girlfriend problem. She says it's his fault they're hanging around. Matt pulls up in his truck. Why so sad, Matty? Dead Vicki pops in to ask. He's lonely. Well, you wouldn't be if I came back...but Tyler interrupts before she can tell him how.

At the mausoleum, Katherine is unsuccessfully trying to get decrepit Vampire Hunter Michael to feed. Damon calls and wants an update. Get a move on so they can kill Klaus and save compelled Stefan. Then Damon rings up Elena, telling her to keep away from the house cause of their new houseguest. He's deliberately mum about Stefan's collegiate activities, when she asks about her love.

Caro's hanging up posters for the annual Back-To-School Bonfire (How many traditions does this town have???). Elena will be there. Ty swoops in for a smooch--and is that blood on your shirt, buddy? Hey, Bekah hooked him up with a blood bag. Caro gives him the dress down in the restroom about keeping his vamp activities on the DL and to watch the cocky 'tude.

Elena literally runs into Stefan in the hallway. He's just following Klaus's orders to keep an eye on her, but when he grabs her, Alaric breaks it up. Ripper Stefan pushes the history teacher against the locker. Don't mess with the rippah.

Alaric and Elena need a plan to deal with the Stefan situation at school. Stefan is a dick in history class, and then to top it off, there's a new girl--that's right, Rebekah. Caroline is not happy.

Matt's cruising the Stoner Pit (the Peace Sign VW van cracked me up) looking for Vicki to pop up. She does. She tells him again that she can come back to this side of the living with the help of a dead witch, but he has to help her. Hot Jeremy stops by, pretends he doesn't see Vick. But reports to Anna what he overheard. Is it true? Anna says if Vicki has a strong enough foothold in this world she can, but it would be bad news. Cause you can't upset the balance of nature. Consequences. Too bad nobody tells this to Matt.

Football practice. Tyler is a total hybrid badass on the field. Rebekah shows up at cheer practice--she's totally pulling a single-white-female sitch on Caroline. Then Ty compels coach to let them go early. Caro again gives him the talk, but he's too interested in watching Rebekah flip around the field in her itty, bitty shorts.

Elena's running track. Stefan joins her. 'Cept he's soooo not her Stefan. But when he calls her the human blood bag, she's draws the line and leaves. What I say? Damon walks in on her pumping iron--Buffy and Warrior Princess quips are made. E tells him she wants to lock up Stefan, like they did before when he fell off the blood wagon. D thinks it's a lost cause, but she won't give up. They end up having a touchy-feely moment as Damon promises he won't let anyone, especially his l'il bro, hurt her.

Nighttime. Before the bonfire, Damon, Elena and Alaric go over their plan to trap Stefan. Elena will bait Stefan, Alaric will vervaine him. Damon takes care of Bekah. Caro and Ty enter, but Ty's not down with locking up Stefan. Why? Cause Klaus wouldn't like it. Uh, oh. Damon knocks Ty out with vervaine and tells everyone that because Klaus sired him, Ty's completely loyal to him.

Bonfire. Bekah and Stefan are at the keg. Elena walks up and taunts him by downing a cup o' beer. Hey, watch out, lightweight, he reminds her...almost like he cares.

Cut to Matt working some candles and juju, cutting his palm. Dead Vicki's directing this little session. Candles flare. Vicki touches him, he can feel it. It worked. She's now un-dead again.

Hot Jeremy's telling Bonnie what Anna said about Vicki, but all she can hear is that he keeps talking to his dead girlfriend.

Matt's happy Vicki's back. Till Vick tells him about the deal she made: she can stay, but only if the hybrids can't survive. You can't kill Tyler! Pshaw, I don't care about Tyler, it's Elena who's the key to hybrid survival. She must die (Again?!?) No, Matt steps in.Un-dead Vicki clocks him with a wrench. Ah, sibling bonds.

At the bonfire, Elena's watching keg stands, Stefan's watching her. She down's another cup of brew. Damon's working his baby blues on Bekah, making smores. Elena watches, obviously jealous. Stefan calls her on it. She is not, she argues. Stefan shrugs. (Commentary: Elena totally reminded me of my college boyfriend in this scene - she doesn't totally want Damon, but she definitely doesn't want him getting cozy with anyone else, either. Let him go, E.)

Matt confesses to a worried Bonnie what he did. Un-dead Vicki's at the bonfire, she finds a joint someone left and picks it up. Just like old times already.

Damon's feeding Bekah a sticky s'more from his fingertips, but she's not buying what he's selling. Something's up. So, she drives her s'more stick into his stomach (and I totally love her! she's smart.)

Tyler wakes up on his couch at home and Caroline reads him the riot act. When she starts to storm out, he's contrite and promises to tone down the d-baggery. And then he says something totally sweet, and Caroline forgives him (so do I!), they kiss, and then it's bom chicka wah wah time.

Elena's drunk, draped on the bleachers. Told you you're a lightweight, Stefan says. I'll drive you home. Elena recklessly crawls over the side railing, pretends to let go, and you can see Stefan's blood pressure rising and then she actually falls...he catches her in his arms in the nick. I knew you'd save me, she says. They have a long, gazing moment...lips are close...vervaine darts fly, couresty of Ric. Stefan drops.

Alaric loads Stefan into the back of his car, while Elena gets in the passenger side. Damn kids, Ric says as he stumbles over an empty gas...and oh my god, there's un-dead Vicki with her lit joint. She tosses it. Flames race, engulfing the car in seconds. Elena's trapped inside. Ric tries to get her out, but can't. The smoke, Elena's coughing. Stefan wake up, wake up! He rouses, kicks out the back door. Vicki appears and tries to hold Elena back from escaping. But Bonnie's working a spell, and it pulls Vicki back into a candlelit classroom. Matt tells her a tearful goodbye, Bonnie chants, candles flare. Poof. Bye, bye, Vicki. Elena crawls out of the car, then she and Ric grab Stefan before it blows up.

Salvatore's house. Damon is patching up Elena's scratches. She's all jealous girlfriend over him and Bekah, they get close, but Ric breaks it up and takes her home.

Post-coital, Caro leaves Ty, just before Bekah shows up.And she's brought some Thai for dinner. They vamp out.

At the tomb, Kate and Michael are talking. Take off these chains, he tells her, and I will kill Klaus. But first, I need a non-living bite to eat. Whoa--he grabs Katherine and feeds on her!

Elena tells Ric that he should forgive Damon already. Ric's having none of it (Commentary: Good for you, Ric. I think everyone forgives Damon a little too easily. I re-watched Season 1 and now I remember what an a-hole Damon really is. He's still got a long way to go for redemption. A long way. I wish Elena would remember that, too.) Stefan reminds Alaric and Elena that they need him because he'll protect Elena from anything. You could have let me burn, but you didn't, he says to Elena. Because I still have hope, she answers. I know you better than anyone and this is not you. Then you're pathetic, he tells her. No, strong, she replies resoundingly and drives a couple of stakes in his chest for good measure (and this is so much like Buffy, Season 2, in the mall where she's fighting Angelus and he taunts her that she can't kill him because she still loves him, so she knees him and says to just give her time...sigh, I loved that show).

Hot Jeremy is talking to Bonnie's voicemail. Dead Anna shows up. You shouldn't be thinking about me while you're talking to your girlfriend, she admonishes. I can't stop and don't know that I ever will, he admits. Then they touch hands and both can feel it. (Y'all, I so love them together!)

Damon's cleaning up the Stefan-trashed house. A vase breaks. Then something else in another room. Stop it, Stefan, he says like an exasperated parent. Except it's not Stefan. Damon is thrown to the floor. OMG! It's supposedly dead-werewolf Mason! I did not see that one coming.

Extended commentary: Okay, so as I've said before, I'm getting pretty bored of this Klaus storyline, but Mason being alive may help to enliven it a bit. I hope. We're six friggin' episodes in and nothing has really happened. Also, when it comes to the Stefan-Elena-Damon love triangle, which I'm also finding a bit fatiguing, I don't think anyone is asking the right question: it's not a matter of who loves who more, or who's better for her. They both love Elena, and she loves each of them . The question is who is she willing to give up?