Vampire Diaries: Disturbing Behavior Recap (Episode 3:4)

The Least You Need To Know: This is not the first time around for the Klaus/Stefan bromance—they first met in the roaring 20s. And Klaus’s li’l sis, Daisy Buchanan, er, Rebecca was there, too--crushing hard on Stefan (Hey, Damon may have his baby blues, but seems baby bro was the real lady killer, figuratively and literally.) Elena’s Stefan-gifted necklace was Rebecca’s first. Klaus needs it so his witch Gloria can contact the original witch (the O.W.) who cast the Sun And The Moon curse. So he can make his vampwolf army, damnit! To save Elena’s neck (heehee, so punny--I could do this all day), Stefan cannot let him find it.

EXT. The Windy City skyline. Klaus and Stefan are boozing and watching Rebecca try on a new 21^st century wardrobe. She is not impressed with these modern Kardashian-styles. Stefan says she wears it well. He’s a liar, she says. She can always tell. Whatever, Klaus moans, just find me the necklace. Ugh, nervous Stefan needs some air. Oh, shite, is that Katherine he spies? He gives chase.

In the Gilbert kitchen, Elena and Damon are cooking with gas for the Founder’s Day (Is it that time of year again already?) potluck at the Lockwoods. It’s all very flirty. And it seems that E has gotten over Stefan very quickly. Alaric cuts them the side-eye. Hey, no worries. Damon points out that Elena’s still wearing her Stefan necklace, the symbol of their forever-bond.Right?

What are you doing here, Katherine? Stefan demands to know. She knows about Klaus’s quest for the necklace. So, what’s his plan? Fughetaboutit. He’s got everything under control. Don’t get cocky, she warns. The sister wants him. Take care, or she’ll be his downfall.

Hot Jeremy is waking and Dead Anna’s there. Hey, he can hear her? Yeah, cause he was dreaming about her. Really? This makes her so happy.They have a moment. (Damn, I really love them together!) Doorbell. Elena answers. It’s Caroline and Bonnie! Jere is psyched to see his witchy woman—Dead Anna is not.

Cop Mom and Damon catch up about Caroline’s Dear Ol’ Dad Bill. Gay jokes ensue. Bill is now occupying the dungeon where he tortured his daughter. Cop Mom wants Damon to compel him to forget and leave town, which D does after first tasting him for vervaine.

Cut back to Chi-town. Gloria’s bar. The witch needs the necklace to aid Klaus and she’s gonna work some juju to locate it. Stefan’s brow furrows deeper.

In Mystic Falls, Bonnie and Caroline are giving Elena shite about getting her flirt on with Damon since Stefan split. Ouch. The necklace burns her like a scarlet letter. Let me take a look, says Bonnie. Elena holds it out to her and when she touches it, sparks fly. WTF?

Gloria announces she’s located the necklace! Dundundun.

Stefan is freaking out. Gloria tells Klaus she’s got a clue, but she needs more to be sure. Hey, maybe later…anyone hungry? Stefan deflects.

At the Lockwood’s Founders Day potluck, Bonnie wants to works a spell to figure out the necklace weirdness. Caroline is still grilling Elena about Damon. Just tell us the dealio, she says to Elena. It’s nothing, E demurs. The necklace begins to levitate, but Bonnie’s not doing anything.

Ric warns Damon to stepoff when it comes to Elena. Damon tells him to mind his own beeswax. Ric won’t. Cop Mom calls Damon to the Council meeting.

Stefan, Klaus and Becca are sucking dinner. More sibling bickering ensues, Stefan uses it as an excuse to bail for a while.

Jere, at the Lockwood Manor, seeks out Anna in private. She knows about Bonnie, she tells him. Why haven’t you told her about me? He doesn’t want Bon to know that he can see her. Well, the only reason you can see me is because you want to. She’s always around, he only has to let her in to see and hear her. But, don’t let Vicki in, cause she’s way dark. Dead Anna tells him she’s so alone on the other side, and then they touch fingers. He can feel her, and it’s all very Patrick Swayze/Demi Moore minus Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost. Ooooh, my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your touch, a long, lonely time…

Stefan is at the bar to shakedown Gloria. Oh, she knows his little secret now. The girls that have the necklace, they were talking about him. And unless he wants Klaus to know what she knows, Stef better help her get that necklace. But, not for Klaus, screw him. She wants it for her very own. Stefan goes for her throat, but she drops him with the aneurysm mojo. Next thing he knows, she’s got him splayed on a table, shirtless and paralyzed, candles everywhere. She’s gonna put the voodoo on him to get the info she wants. And it’s gonna hurt.

The council meeting is boring because all is quiet on the vampire front, Damon declares. Adjourn. Damon is helping himself to a finger of Mayor Mom’s booze when in walks an obviously non-compelled D o’D Bill. Damn! thinks Cop Mom, Mayor Mom and Damon together.

Bonnie reveals to Jeremy that the witches told her there would be consequences for bringing him back from the dead. Yeah, he got the memo, he just hasn’t told her. They’re looking through some old books for deets on the magic necklace. Dead Anna materializes. Watch out, Jere! The darkness is here. And then all the books suddenly combust.

Gloria continues to feel up torture Stefan cause he won’t give up the goods. But then she sees the sweet, intimate images of him and Elena flitting through his mind. Ah, so that’s it! The doppelganger is alive and he loves her. Wait till Klaus finds this out—oof.  Knife to the witches neck. Yay, Katherine!

Ric, Elena and Caroline are leaving the party. Where’s Damon? Oh, shite, it’s D o’D Bill. Caroline runs to hide. Y’all we have a real problem, Damon declares. Bill is impervious to Damon’s charm compulsion and wants to take over the council and put vervaine in the water system. Would that be so bad, Elena responds. You know, to help Damon tow the line since Stefan’s not here to do it. Yeah, Ric agrees. Screw you, bro. Damon acts out and snaps his bestie’s neck! But, hey, at least he made sure Ric was wearing his necromancing ring first. What is wrong with you? Elena screams. Damon’s a bad, bad boy, E, that’s what.

Stefan and Katherine are cleaning up the witch’s body. She tells him that he should use Rebecca’s love for him to further his plan. Which is…? He tells her that the siblings are running scared from someone. A hunter, perhaps. She wants to help. No way, he’s a solo act.

Ty comes home (why wasn’t he at the party, at his own house?). Caro’s waiting on his bed. Still hiding from Dear Ol’ Dad. Apparently she’s dealing with her daddy issues in the age old manner of seducing a boy for dirty, sweaty se—oh, wait, phone call. Seriously? Ty asks. Hey, chicks before you-know-what, buddy. Elena tells Caro they’ve got a sitch, as she stands over Ric’s dead body.

D o’ D Bill is tossing back a bourbon. Damon enters, and tells him he’s impressed by his mind strength. Thanks, but really your compulsion skills are lacking, Bill intones. Are you going to expose us, Damon wants to know. Nope. Damon threatens him anyway. Meh, Bill’s not worried. He should be—Damon’s tired of being on a leash. He goes for the throat, but doesn’t kill Bill (heehee), just wants to hurt him a little. Caro swoops in and knocks D on his ass. They spar. Then she speeds away with Daddy.

Elena enters. She’s pissed. Why does Damon insist on acting like such a monster. Newsflash, Elena, he likes being a monster. He's a vampire afterall, and furthermore, He.Is.Not.Stefan!

Dead Anna corners Jere in the bathroom. Stop doing that when Bonnie’s around, he tells her. Hey, dude, I only show up cause you’re thinking about me, she reminds. This can’t go on. He tells her goodbye and she vanishes into the ether. Then he reveals to Bonnie about the ghostly visits of girlfriends past. Anna is still there, though, like she told him, but her pleading falls on his now-deaf ears.

Stefan’s back at the warehouse. So is Becca. They talk and he oh so casually mentions that he knows they’re running from someone. Who? She won’t tell. But she wants to know about his dead girlfriend, the one her brother “killed”. It gets intimate. She lays one on him. Do you think you’ll ever love another girl like you loved her? Maybe, he answers. No way, liar, she accuses. It’s in his kiss. Rejected, she tells Klaus that Stefan was asking about Michael, the hunter. Furious, Klaus attacks.

At the Salvatore abode, Damon’s double-fisting drinks. One’s for still-dead Ric. Wake up, already! 

Ric: Bro, you killed me! 

Damon: Well, you pissed me off! Bygones?

Ric: You’re a dick! See ya.   

And Damon’s down another friend.

Look E, here’s what’s up, states Caroline. You’ve got the hots for Damon, just admit it, for the love of Buffy! No way, Elena says, cause that would make me a slut since I’ve been going on and on that Stefan’s my one and only for the last two seasons. (Has Caroline completely forgotten that she used to sleep with Damon? Actually, who hasn’t Caroline slept with?)

Dear Ol’ Dad Bill’s on his way out of town. Gettin’ while the gettin’s good, he tells Caro. Also, thanks for the rescue. Hey, Daddy, I’m going to be okay, you’ll see. Um, you’re still a vamp, darling, so probably not. Hasta.

Ric is taking a meeting with Mayor Mom and Cop Mom. He’s the Gilberts’ quasi-guardian now so he wants their spot on the Council. No way, they say. Yes, way, because you two parents-of-monsters aren’t impartial anymore, and someone’s got to look after the actual humans in this town, damnit!

Elena sits down with Bonnie at a sidewalk bistro. Here’s your necklace back. Oh, and your brother is seeing his dead girlfriends. Whoosh, Elena jets…to see Damon. Except it’s not E, it’s Katherine with straight hair. Gotcha! Hey, I’m gonna go start some trouble somewhere, wanna come with? she asks D. Sure, I’m dead in this town anyway, he says. (I’m sorry, I cannot resist the puns tonight) Katerina reveals she’s got the necklace.

Stefan awakes, in a locked room with coffins and Klaus. Let me explain, Stefan begs. No worries, mate—I’m not mad, I just want to know what you’re hiding, Klaus tells him. He opens the room’s garage-like door, sunlight floods in to reveal they’re in the back of a moving truck parked on Main Street, Mystic Falls, Virginia.Yay!Reunion!